As discussed in episode 21, money can make or break a relationship. There is an importance in understanding the financial obligations during the courting stage, but also the marriage.
I will be explain my following quote later in this episode:
“There is importance in living a moderate lifestyle ….even though you may have the funds to purchase an expensive item, still remember your needs and wants”. Joann B Givans
What is the first word that comes to mind when we discuss the word security. Well here is an an illustration of what security means to me:
Security looks like:
-Three to six months funds in your bank account
-being able to pay for rent or mortgage
-able to pay for basic necessities such as clothing, food, and beauty care items
-Ability to go on vacation
You may be thinking now, where is the future husband role in financial security?:
For some men their PERSPECTIVE ON LOVE involves being the protector and provider of his home.
To take on this role of being a financial provider he ensures there is enough funds including family emergency funds.
To determine your future husbands understanding of financial security consider the following:
- Ensures he works steadily- not consistently job hoping or surfing. He in fact is hardworking and consistent with work. This is important as this demonstrates traits such as loyalty, and able to learn and grow while on the job.
- He has savings and discusses future plans with a family involved such as having a house
- He has a license and drives a car – which means he demonstrates growth and independence as well as responsibility during life stages.
- He has life experiences of resilience
When we think of finances, how often do we consider the SACRIFICE it takes in order to have a particular lifestyle…
- working more hours means being away from the family but as well long hours can also lead to stress and short and long term health issues
- EXAMPLE: In Episode 10 , I discussed how I had to improve my acne – really meant lifestyle changes, although I did not have any financial concerns the reality is work life or other stressors can have an impact on your health. Stress causes health issues as well as limited social time with friends and family.
Sometimes we can get caught up in living like the Jones that we forget what can really make us happy. During courting but primarily during marriage, determine the family goals and what are the wants and needs to maintain joy and love in the relationship.
Meet the Richards couple. The Richards want to enjoy life and be able to go on vacation once per year. There goal is to be able to attend excursions such as rock climbing and exercises during the week.
- There will be things to consider in order to achieve this goal such as:
- Number of family cars. Possibly having one car for the home rather than two.
- Type of Home. There are various types of homes such as detached, semi-detached and townhome. Based on the ice, choosing a home that will allow you to have your excursion, vacation and exercise incorporated in the family budget.
- Groceries. Nutrition plays a large role in our health. Consider the cost to having fruits and vegetables incorporated in your meals.
How TO BUILD FINANCIAL Security …
-During engagement, but particularly in the early stages of marriage write down your long term and short term goals.
It is an important task to do because it is an reference point when determining whether an item is worth purchasing. During this time of writing goals, you also want to identify if there are any items you always wanted to purchase or oaths you made to yourself – car, particular career.
It is helpful to have this item you always wanted discussed as a couple. Should you you purchase the item it does impact your financial goals.
You never know what life events may occur. There is an importance of living a moderate lifestyle even though you may have the funds to purchase the item. During periods of extreme budgeting or having very little funds, items such as pictures, memory stones or low costs places to visit will help you maintain a positive energy and save.
Discussion on money is important during the relationship and marriage. Financial security primarily involves the man ensuring his family is protected in the present as well as the future . There are traits that help indicate his ability to provide for his family such as working a steady job. It’s important to realize that whatever lifestyle you choose it does have disadvantages and advantages. It really takes time to plan the lifestyle you want to live and build goals around this. During your budgeting , identify any oaths you made to yourself, and determine whether these item/s can be purchased or you can let go of. Your future husband wants to build a future family with you but also budgeting and spending wisely are essential to have sufficient amount of savings for the family lineage.
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